Originally I had planned on only posting when I had something to add to my 1000 Gifts list. But that would mean two things:
1. I could potentially go for a long time without posting anything
2. I would actually have to look for things to be grateful for...
And there it is. The hard part.
I can say so many times that I am a grateful person, and that I have so much to be grateful for. So making a list of 1000 things should be no problem (especially for an avid list maker such as myself).
And yet... this is only my second blog post, and it's been about two weeks.
In my Bible reading this week I was reading in Judges and came across a very hard verse. To put into context what's going on here, the Israelites have entered the promised land. And, with Joshua's help, they have driven out the occupants, started to settle the land, and are beginning to enjoy peace from God. Except... they haven't done so great with driving out the occupants. For any number of reasons (fear, lack of trust, lack of motivation, sheer disobedience...), they have left some of the other cultures untouched. So what does God say? "Because this nation has violated the covenant I ordained for their ancestors and has not listened to me, I will no longer drive out before them any of the nations Joshua left when he died. I will use them to test Israel and see whether they will keep the way of the Lord and walk in it as their ancestors did" (Judges 2:20b-22 (NIV), emphasis mine).
Whoa. Not, "I will rescue them as I did before." But also not, "I will totally destroy them for this wicked thing they've done." No! Instead, God says, "You know what you're supposed to do. So now I'm going to let you decide when, or if, you're going to do it."
I have been wrong in my thinking. Sometimes, when God is silent, it isn't approval, or anger, or me not asking the right way. Sometimes, that sin I keep running to (or from) is there to test me. To see if I will do what I know to do. Ouch- hard truth.
God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I know what to do and choose the easy and comfortable way. I know what to do, so give me the courage to do what you have taught me. And also, I'm sorry that it's easier to ignore your blessings than it is to look for them. Give me your eyes to see what you're doing for me. Thank you for all I don't acknowledge.
1000 Gifts:
1. The storm is fleeting
2. The chance to change
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