Living Open Handed

I hate having to justify myself or defend every word I say to people. I constantly temper my speech afraid of upsetting people. The last two days, I've had encounters with coworkers were I slipped- I bashed things in-line with cultural norms, said things that derailed whole conversations without thinking about what I meant to say before I said it. And man does the negativity seep in. I hate being misunderstood and I hate when people misunderstanding me leads to me wondering what they think of me. The worst part of it is that today's encounter specifically points to my faith. And instead of pointing to Christ, I tried to walk back what I said so I wasn't one of "those Christians." So now I'm left with 2 battles. Letting go of the fact that other people's opinions of me don't define my identity, and not replaying the situation in my head perpetuating my negative heart-mindset. Do I wallow... or do I give this self-doubt to the One who knows my heart an...

I used to be able to say I didn't post political things on Facebook. Can't say that anymore. And even though there are so many things I'm passionate and knowledgable about, I feel helpless. As an older millennial, I get that Facebook is not the place for these conversations. But the problem is that's really the only place where I know people who (in my opinion) need to hear what I have to say; it's the only place where I'm comfortable to engage with people who engage with me. As a Christian, I'm called to engage wth my culture; to speak out against injustice, give a voice to the powerless. But more importantly, I'm also called to proclaim the amazing Good News of the gospel. And balance is hard, exhausting, and... scary. I'm realizing the Christianity has to be lived out to have any meaning. I can't just talk about the goodness of God when there are real things that need attention. I can't ignore injustice because truth is more important. ...

I am a Christian who voted for Hillary. Now that that's out of the way... I've noticed a growing disconnect between the way I was raised and the expectations for me. When I mentioned in passing to my mom that I had never voted for the person who became president, there was a pause. And when the question finally came, "You voted for Hillary?" there was something there I couldn't place. Surprise, sure... but something else. I've felt it this whole election cycle. Christians passionately and loudly came down on both sides. Listen, neither candidate was perfect, and neither exemplifies Biblical living perfectly. Now that that's out of the way... Here are my thoughts... here's why  I voted for her. 1. I was raised to be a thoughtful, caring and compassionate person. I was taught that my value does not come from the words people use to describe me (although that does show me the value they place on me). So when I hear a man who is runni...

Originally I had planned on only posting when I had something to add to my 1000 Gifts list. But that would mean two things: 1. I could potentially go for a long time without posting anything 2. I would actually have to look for things to be grateful for... And there it is. The hard part. I can say so many times that I am a grateful person, and that I have so much to be grateful for. So making a list of 1000 things should be no problem (especially for an avid list maker such as myself). And yet... this is only my second blog post, and it's been about two weeks. In my Bible reading this week I was reading in Judges and came across a very hard verse. To put into context what's going on here, the Israelites have entered the promised land. And, with Joshua's help, they have driven out the occupants, started to settle the land, and are beginning to enjoy peace from God. Except... they haven't done so great with driving out the occupants. For any number of r...