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Flaws and All

When Nate proposed, he gave me a gorgeous 3/4 carat round cut diamond. I have always received compliments for its look, and have been quick to respond, "Thanks, he did a great job." He picked it out himself, and had it inscribed with our shared initials NJV.

The first time I took it for cleaning, they let me verify the inclusions with the jeweler's loop to ensure they matched the map on the certification sheet. Inclusions are the fancy jewelry term for flaws. Small black dots, lines and squiggles hang out in my diamond. Most aren't visible to the naked eye, but under certain light and at certain angles, I can see one in my ring.

At first, it really bothered me. I felt like my diamond wasn't good enough, that Nate had been swindled by our jeweler (this happened to coincide with a string of trips to the jewelry store that left me bitter... maybe a post for another time), and hated that my perfect diamond wasn't perfect.

Now after 7 years of being married, the rose colored glasses have come off a little bit. Neither of us are who we were on that overcast morning in June. We've both got more grays than we like to admit, both put on a little more weight than we had, and we've rubbed off on each other in good and bad ways. I'm a little more laid back than I used to be (again, another post for another day I guess) and he appreciates a fresh made bed and eats a lot more vegetables.

Every day I'm reminded that he chose me, flaws and all, just like he chose this ring. This ring is a constant reminder I wear that even though my flaws may hang out just below the surface, most of the time I can pretend they don't exist. He sees me, and embraces me. He loves me enough as I am that he can push me to improve myself and be better than I thought I could be. He sees the best and encourages me to show those pieces of me. I heard once that marriage is like a rock tumbler, where you exist in this space and sometimes things are smooth and it's not hard to be close to each other; other times you find a hard edge that has to hurt a little before it goes away. I'm so thankful we're in that easy time right now, but I'm also so thankful that when we do hit the hard time, it's him I go through it with.

Inclusions and all.

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