Living Open Handed

I am a Christian who voted for Hillary. Now that that's out of the way... I've noticed a growing disconnect between the way I was raised and the expectations for me. When I mentioned in passing to my mom that I had never voted for the person who became president, there was a pause. And when the question finally came, "You voted for Hillary?" there was something there I couldn't place. Surprise, sure... but something else. I've felt it this whole election cycle. Christians passionately and loudly came down on both sides. Listen, neither candidate was perfect, and neither exemplifies Biblical living perfectly. Now that that's out of the way... Here are my thoughts... here's why  I voted for her. 1. I was raised to be a thoughtful, caring and compassionate person. I was taught that my value does not come from the words people use to describe me (although that does show me the value they place on me). So when I hear a man who is runni...

Walking with other commuters is one of the loudest quiets that exist. No one talks. No one. All you hear is the sound of dozens of feet on pavement, and maybe someone's music through their headphones. I live in one of the most unchurched cities in North America. Statistically, for every 5 people I meet, only 2 of them go to church regularly. The need for me to be Jesus is abundantly necessary. And yet... I say nothing. I can blame it on all sorts of things... I don't know what to say; asking a stranger how I can pray for them makes me sound crazy (or like I've been eavesdropping); they might not be a morning person; I'm not even sure they speak English; I'll never see this person again, so why does it matter? But I see the same eight or so people every day. And the truth? While all of those reasons are true, I'm scared of judgment and looking stupid. More than I'm scared of what could happen to the soul of the person I say nothing to. I wish I could say ...

"If you're offended by someone you aren't loving them by holding a grudge. Because you're allowing them to potentially hurt someone else the same way. You also aren't setting yourself up for success in relationships with other people by carrying it around." - From a friend, at our community group "But maybe God doesn’t have a name for each individual event that happens to us. He just calls it all good (Romans 8:28). Nothing in God’s will is isolated from the abundance He intends for us." -She Reads Truth; Advent 2015 Day 10 This year is already different than last year. Last year, I was trying to find a way to feel like myself again. Last year, I was stuck in unhealthy habits, physically and spiritually. But this year... I still have room for growth. God is showing me exactly what my sphere of influence is and how I need to function in it. I have been praying for God to put people into my life that need him. People who need me to show ...

The title of my blog is "Living Open Handed." To me, this means being on the look out and paying attention to the blessings of God. It also means that I am not hanging onto them and selfishly keeping them for myself, but helping others notice them as well. As Christians, we cannot over simplify our beliefs. We cannot say that God's grace is only for us and those like us. We cannot dictate the terms of someone else's salvation. And that's a hard line...  We absolutely are called to lovingly help others see the sin in their lives. We absolutely are called to live like Jesus and obey His terms. But... we cannot say that someone's salvation is dependent on our approval. Because if we do that, we are no better than the Pharisees and their additions to the law. I am pro-life. I believe that all life is sacred and valued by God. I am positively heart broken over the millions of children that are murdered every year. I pray that God will change hearts and ...

I would love to be able to say that my job search is easier... but that would be a lie. This is so different from any other time I've had to look for a job. It's more competitive, and I just don't feel like I fit here. I send out application after application... and nothing. No interviews, no phone calls. Just the form email that says, "You along with several other applications were all considered. Unfortunately, you were not selected." I have had two interviews. One I wasn't excited about and one I was. And I am a countin'-chickens-before-they-hatch kind of girl... figuring out how to set up a room, planning lessons, imagining how I'll feel when I get "the call", how happy Nate will be... And the two good things that came from those two interviews just doesn't feel like enough anymore.  At the one I wasn't excited about, I received the nicest rejection email ever: "Just because you aren't a good fit for us, doe...

Resonating- that feeling you get when someone says something that is exactly what you were thinking and didn't know for sure how to say it. One of the hardest parts about moving to Boston was the feeling that I was in this alone. Yes, I had Nate, but that was it.* I struggled to connect to people at church and didn't feel like I fit in with my coworkers. I've realized now that a lot of it had to do with me and my unwillingness to connect. But it's hard to be 28 and move some place new and start over with new people. Insecurity is something I have dealt with more and more as I get older. I think I always struggled with it, but it took moving away from all my friends and family for me to truly see how big of an issue it was for me. It's really easy for me to get bogged down and worried about how I come across and whether or not others like me... but that robs me. It robs my joy, self esteem, friendships, and my marriage. And I think God let me go through this t...